By David N. Britt
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Last week I pointed out that there seemed to be a significant dearth of parents who are raising children in an irresponsible manner.
Especially those who allowed these precious youngsters to wear their jammies inside out, flush ice cubes down the toilet and (worst of all) pray to get more snow. That’s just disgraceful!
It is clear parents are the problem.
In fact, it’s our battle cry: “Parents are the problem! Parents are the problem! Parents are the problem!
My solution (as briefly mentioned before) is the establishing the Pedi-Police, whose responsibilities would consist of:
-Rounding up young victims of parental irresponsibility and placing them in a safe environment.
-Acting as surrogate parents, teachers, counselors, etc. during this time of protective custody.
-Providing the finest education, food, housing and medical care.
Meanwhile, the parents will be free to live their irresponsible lives as they wish.
We’ll even pay special attention to children not yet incarcerated with a special branch that will work with the parents to try to help their children grow up to be responsible adults, ready to raise our future generation.
If these efforts should fail, the children will be placed in protective custody.
Near the end of the children’s education (perhaps between age 16 and 18), individuals will be given the opportunity to take the first of two examinations – judging whether the student is ready to be a responsible and productive member of society.
There is no penalty for those who opt not to take the exam. In fact, if they don’t take it when they are first eligible the adjudicators will see he or she is doing very well and deserves special attention and reward.
If one elects to take the first exam and fails, he or she will also receive special attention and reward.
Once passed, they’ll be monitored by advisers who may intervene if necessary.
Students may elect to drive a car and go on dates at bowling alleys, eateries, movie theaters, and at drive-ins.
Frolicking in the backseat of a car, and some frolicking in one’s living quarters will be allowed.
Upon approval, the student may elect to take the final examination that will determine if they are prepared, responsible and productive enough to produce children who will be prepared, responsible and productive.
Well, that’s My Piece and I’m stickin’ to it. If you’d like to suggest a name for the organization formerly known as (Pedi-Police), or if you’d like to tell me where to stick my piece, please shoot me an email email . I’ll read them all respond to most and delete some—I promise.
David N. Britt covers the interesting, offbeat and entertaining happenings that you would write about if he wasn’t already doing it for you.
