Opinion

Are you a responsible person? Do you get to work on time, meet your obligations, take care of friends and family, keep up your property, call your mother and pay your bills on time?

If yes, then you probably are a responsible person!

Sometimes I find myself wondering if people have lost their sense of responsibility.

Here’s an example: Have you ever seen small children in your neighborhood who were outside, unsupervised, running out into the street, dashing out from between cars, or riding their bikes in the middle of the road? The first thought that flashes through my mind is, “Oh, Dear God, protect them!” As soon as my heart slows to a normal pace, the next thought follows, “Where are the parents? That child could have been killed?”

Do you think those children, unsupervised, denote irresponsible behavior on behalf of the parents?(Actually very few child pedestrians are killed by vehicles in comparison to other causes of childhood death. That’s likely a topic for another day.)

All right, try this one: You never leave your shopping cart in the middle of the lot or in a parking space. You always dutifully walk your cart back to the corral. (If you don’t do that, quit reading here. You are most decidedly NOT a responsible person!) What happens if you see someone else’ cart in the middle of the lot or in a parking space? Do you take that cart back to the corral where it belongs, or do you think, “Well, I didn’t put it there, so I’m not taking it back!”

Declaring yourself a responsible person is not an easy task! Through the years, the idea of responsibility seems to have shifted. It often seems to me that people go to extravagant measures to shirk their responsibilities. I realize there are lots of extenuating circumstances why someone may be unable to meet their obligations, like medical conditions or disability may make it impossible for someone to work and earn a living or pay their bills. I’m sure I could name lots more reasons why someone may be excused from their obligations, but for brevity we’ll move along.

I read two stories this week that prompted this train of thought. The first was an article declaring Louis Osbourne (Ozzy Osbourne’s son) declared bankruptcy. He’s 38 years old, and while he didn’t state his reasons, he looks pretty healthy to me! I think it would be irresponsible to ask his very wealthy parents to give him money, but to avoid bankruptcy, I think it would be perfectly all right to ask for a low interest loan from Ozzy and Sharon, as long as Louis Osbourne would be paying that back.

Then, I read Michelle Singletary’s column in the Washington Post on Oct.11. She told of a couple who have struggled to pay off their bills through devastating health problems and job loss. It took them many years, but they were rewarded with knowing they paid their debts. (They were also honored as client of the year by the National Foundation for Credit Counseling)

Their story is remarkable and encouraging. I hope you’ll take a few minutes to read Ms. Singletary’s column and then watch this video of Wendall and Linda Ramage. They are definitely my heroes and if I gave an award, it would be for “The Most Responsible People.”

Opinion 

At lunch with a couple of friends last week, we discussed (among many other things) diversity. Both my friends are honest, open-minded folk, both care and are concerned for their fellow men and women. Both friends are intelligent, well-educated and well connected.

That conversation spurred me to take that topic a little bit further, as often happens when curiosity is piqued. I knew exactly what that word, “diversity” meant. You probably already know that it means: the inclusion of different types of people (as people of different races or cultures).

I don’t like that word. It sounds like division not unity. It made me wonder how many words start with the letters D, I, or V.  One site states there are 157 words that begin with D, I, or V. Before I started looking at them, I was already thinking ahead with terms like divide, divorce, and divest.

I actually thought the prefix was “div”, but it is only “di” That prefix occurs in loanwords from Greek, where it meant “two,” “twice,” “double”. It’s really a variant of “dis”

All right! “Dis”! Now we’re getting someplace! Except we’re not, because a whole slew of “dis” words popped in my head, like “discordant” “disgust” and “disagree” There are an amazing 1619 words that begins with “Dis” and not one of them sound like unity to me.

Many years ago, when I first began working for Non-Appropriated Funds at Scott AFB, we received training in “race relations”. I looked that up, too, but found nothing remotely like the class the Air Force taught. Our class was designed to teach EEO (Equal Employment Opportunity). EEO was understanding that all people are equal and there can be no discrimination when hiring or promoting employees.

I pretty much aced that class. I grew up attending a Catholic school, where the majority of students was white, but there were plenty of black children, too. There were no Hispanics or Asians or any other race that I recall, but not because of exclusion. It was a small, poor, Indiana town without a lot of opportunities that would encourage people to move there.

I lived for a number of years in subsidized housing. (They were called “the projects,” a hat tip to the Urban Renewal Projects that spawned them. There, white people were a minority, but I never felt excluded.

During the 60s my heroes were Martin Luther King Jr.,  John F.Kennedy and Robert F.Kennedy. All those men shaped my life. They were all about unity. No one talked about diversity…we talked about coming together, and “one nation.”

So, I asked my friends, why would anyone declare they belong to the Republicans for Black Empowerment? Doesn’t a title like that divide us instead of unite us?

I was surprised when one of them told me there are a lot of white people in the Republicans for Black Empowerment. He said that group exists to encourage more black people to seek office, particularly as Republicans. That sounds like a very fine idea! I definitely agree with the premise, but if I started a group called, “White People Power,” I’m pretty sure that sounds like the klan or white supremacists. If I began a movement for white people month, I feel certain that I would be called prejudiced.

I don’t think I want to be diverse. I don’t think I want anyone else to be diverse, either. I want what we struggled through the 60s to achieve; unity and equality. Stop celebrating diversity and start celebrating unity. Stop telling me you’re Hispanic or Black or Asian or anything else. Tell me you’re American. Tell me you want to run for office because you are the best candidate. 

Opinion 

I have the ability to think for myself. Better still, I have a desire to genuinely understand all sides of an issue. I don’t have a lot of campaign savvy. I never studied political science, nor did I participate on any debate team, but if you want to know what it takes to win my vote, here’s the way it works for me.

A successful campaign is not about “winning” a race.  It’s about achieving an opportunity to do good for the majority of people with a defined need. A successful campaign has nothing to do with personal gain. I’m sure we all get a little weary of reading the rants, blame slinging, self-serving rhetoric and incessant yammering of people declaring themselves to be the one visionary who has it all in perspective.

I know I get sick of all the pompous declarations, the flag-waving attempts to appeal to my patriotism, the subliminal messages designed to push my buttons, the media messages, and the continual assault on my senses and sensibilities all designed to sell me an idea.

Here’s a fact for all those candidates and incumbents: You don’t know me. You don’t know what’s in my heart or in my head. Your endless attempts to manipulate my vote by appealing to some issue you think matters to me will not work.

I realize I am a minority, not as a woman, but as a free thinker. I remain unencumbered by loyalty to any political party. I am motivated to vote for a candidate by what he or she has shown me, not what some campaign manager told me.

I am completely turned off by any candidate who opens his mouth to sling mud about his or her opponent. Don’t talk to me about your opponent! Talk to me about what YOU can do. Don’t make accusations, don’t try to artfully disparage your opponent, and don’t stretch the truth to make yourself look good at the expense of making someone else look bad.

If you are an incumbent, you are certainly welcome to tell me all the good things you’ve already done, as long as you include the things you are going to do in your next term. If you are a challenger, don’t spout those talking points unless you have the data to back it up. Show me a plan, convince me your idea is best or even that it will work.

If you have made an error, committed an indiscretion or been guilty of misjudgment, I forgive you. I’m fairly certain politicians are human and I do not expect perfection.

What I want, what I demand, is that you do the best job you can do, without bias, prejudice or unfair advantage. I expect a man or woman of honor and integrity, someone who cannot be bought with gifts or favors. I will vote for the person who is not looking to make a name or a career in politics, but is intent on serving for as long as he or she is effective as a leader. Show me that and you don’t have to “win” my vote. I’ll humbly drop it at your feet.

Opinion

Last week, I began to feel prospects dimming in the search for a government or contractor job. Seven months have passed since smart companies caught wind of sequestration and began paring their ranks. Bill, being a well-compensated employee was in the vanguard of layoffs. I’ve begun considering the possibility my husband may no longer find employment in the cleared jobs he’s done all his life and perhaps would need to look outside the federal service sector.

First, I searched for “employers Prince William County.” That term yielded some pretty good information, such as this story from the Washington Business Journal. The author, Michael Neibauer, is a staff reporter. His data wasn’t exactly heartening if one is seeking a professional, technical position, as he summarized the employment prospects by declaring the top ten employers in Prince William County using the 2011 Comprehensive Annual Financial Report.

Seeking justification, I worked with my research partner, Google. I gained an excellent result with this document: the Virginia Community Profile, compiled by the Virginia Employment Commission. That document is the jackpot if you like simple statistics. There, on page 21, I found a list of the top 50 Prince William County employers.

For brevity, here’s the top ten. I encourage you to look at the entire document.

1. Prince William County School Board

2. U.S. Department of Defense

3. County of Prince William

4. Wal Mart

5. Morale Welfare and Recreation

6. Sentara Healthcare

7. Wegmans Store #07

8. Minnieland Private Day School

9. Northern Virginia Community College

10. Target Corp

In addition to learning who the top employers are, there’s lots of information about working in, or outside Prince William County. I can’t say it was great to learn that computer and math careers fall in the top five of unemployment claims. (Page 17) Then, on page 22, I discovered 7016 persons work for the federal government and 17,683 persons work for local government. Well, there’s something to work with.

My next search took me to the Human Resources page. There, I found 34 positions open, but only one in IT (Information Technology) and it was for a Geographic Information Systems Division Chief, nothing even remotely like an Oracle Database Administrator.

Looking at the remainder of the Virginia Community Profile, I saw diminishing numbers of employees. It appears if you are a professional Oracle DBA with many years of experience, you will not find a job in Prince William County, with or without a clearance.

In fact, after seven months of searching both within a 30 mile range and outside of it, using every conceivable job search that may yield results, such as: Indeed,  Simply Hired, Bright, Monster, Beyond, and Dice as well as every friend we have in the industry, we remain unemployed.

A shutdown of the Federal Government looms, certainly further decreasing opportunities. The economy is plugging along, the stock market is doing well, yet day after day, more people just give up looking for work. If you want a sobering look at the state of jobs, not just here, but all over the United States, have a look at this document from the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

It may seem increasingly difficult to remain optimistic. Yes, we’re down…but we’re not out!

I continue to hope for the best, but I am beginning to wonder if I have prepared for the worst.

Opinion 

Unemployment has been on my mind a lot lately. (Well, since the beginning of March, it’s been on my mind almost constantly.)

My husband, Bill, has worked for the government his whole life. The first 20 years for the U.S. Air Force and later for large companies like PRC (purchased by Litton in 1995, evolved into Litton PRC, then Litton Industries, Litton TASC, and then absorbed by Northrup Grumman).  More recently, he worked for SAIC.

The only job Bill ever left voluntarily was through retirement from Air Force. Every other career change came about because the structure of the company changed or the contract he was working expired without renewal. This span is the longest he’s gone without work in 44 years. It’s been difficult for both of us, financially and emotionally.

Still, you know my motto: “Hope for the best; prepare for the worst.” 

With that in mind, I had the dreaded “talk” with my spouse. I asked, “What if you don’t get hired at all this year? In four months, you’ll be 63-years-old. I know there is not supposed to be anything like age discrimination and 63 doesn’t seem too old in a world where it’s common to live into the eighth decade. I know you’re smart and your career as an Oracle DBA has always been in high demand, but the condition of the federal job market is so unstable right now. What if you just can’t get another job comparable to the ones you’ve loved?”

Bill does not want to talk to me about that. He does not even want to think about that. I, however, feel compelled to consider alternatives, ready or not. I don’t have a lot of experience in job searching so I started by defining the future of employment into these two categories:

1. What Bill does
2. What Bill may have to do

I started off with the idea that the jobs Bill does for a living may be available in the private sector. I accept his pay will be lowered. (Although, if you are currently making zero, any job is a raise!) Then I assume he will not be using his clearance, which is expensive to obtain and if allowed to lapse will be difficult to re-activate.

All right, I admit I’m unhappy his job may no longer be in the service of our country, but there will be some positive changes, like less commuting time! For 24 years, Bill has never had a commute less than an hour each way. (The worst commute was when he worked in Bethesda. The best commute was when he was able to take a van pool to the Pentagon.)

I want to share the progress I made, the results of my search and the “what’s next” factor, but I don’t want to bore you with an overlong article, so I’m going to continue the saga next week.

Meanwhile, if you have helpful advice or insight, leave it in the comments. I often find the comments to be more enlightening than a post and appreciate the sincerity of people who are interested in what I write and willing to help work on the problem. I’ll be back here at potomaclocal.com next Sunday with Part II.

Opinion

At some point in my life, I began describing myself as “solidly middle class.”

I don’t know exactly when that occurred. I know I was very poor growing up, but I don’t recall thinking, “I am poor, therefore, I am lower class.” I know I was often given clothes from someone’s child who had outgrown them, and I do recall my cheeks burning when it crossed my mind that the person who gave them to me might see me wearing them. To the best of my recollection I never encountered any humiliation, but I may not have recognized it at any rate, because I was more excited about having “new” clothes than I was worried about the donor!

Through most of my husband’s military career, we qualified for free and reduced price lunches for our children. In the first ten years, we actually qualified for WIC, but I don’t ever remember thinking we were lower class. I was nearly offended when were told by school officials we qualified for these programs. I was not offended that some people needed these programs, but rather, that anyone might think WE needed these programs. We didn’t use those available benefits. Instead, to make ends meet, I began working in military clubs, first as a waitress, later as a supervisor, and toward the end of our tour at Scott AFB, I worked as a night manager.

My husband, Bill, and I worked opposing shifts so we didn’t have to pay for child care. We had one car, and lived in substandard housing on base. That term may be obsolete, but at the time  it meant no central air conditioning, no carpet, small rooms and very old. (For all you folks that think military pay is great because military get “free” housing, I hope you’ll read this page that describes the current situation for housing). It is much better than when we were young, but still distributed by rank and grade. I may have occasionally felt a bit of “colonel envy,” but I still never felt lower class.

As corny as it sounds I have always believed if you work hard and are willing to make sacrifices, you will ultimately obtain a payback on your investment of time and energy. I don’t want to be rewarded…I just want what I have earned to pay off.

That kind of thinking rules the way I perceive our older neighborhoods. I am such an advocate for older communities because I don’t see the time and effort invested to make them pay off. My perception (and I assure you I am not alone) is that our older communities are being allowed to fail. Like kids with new toys, we have cast aside the old ones. We keep building vast new developments, but neglecting the very heart of our communities.

I don’t really believe there is such a thing as a caste system in Prince William County, but for the sake of argument, tell me: Where do the lower class live? Where do the middle class live? Where do the upper class live?

Opinion 

A large number of people in Prince William County are unsure what the Neabsco District is. Many folks actually pronounce the name, “Nabisco,” like the maker of Nilla Wafers, but alas, the Nilla Wafers have 313,000 fans, while the Neabsco Action Alliance page has a mere 87.

We are, in fact, Neabsco. It is pronounced: “knee-ab’-sko” and the district name is tribute to the Neabsco Creek that runs through the area. There’s a Wiki description here, but there is very little information and what is written only confuses things. The entry states Freedom High School is in Neabsco, (a census designated place of 13,068). Freedom High School is actually in the Woodbridge Magisterial District.

Far more interesting is the Wiki for Neabsco Creek, an entry submitted by the Prince William Conservation Alliance, providing a little history about the area and detailing the condition of Neabsco Creek. The Neabsco Creek is often cited as an example of what NOT to do for anyone interested in land and water stewardship. There’s some detailed reports from the EPA here and here. Perhaps the most detailed and simplest to read synopsis of the condition of Neabsco Creek is here, in an article posted in the blog, “Your Piece of the Planet.”

All of Dale City and a few other nearby developments are part of the Neabsco District. Dale City is approximately 15 square miles, and the Neabsco District is by far the smallest land mass of the remaining six magisterial districts. All magisterial districts are based on population. Somehow, we’ve managed to pack about 85,000 people into this district.

We have the smallest land mass, but with a number of residents equal to all the other districts. All around us, in every other district, development and redevelopment is occurring. As each community evolves, we can see beautiful landscaping and architecture. We see ever more expensive homes, resulting in a higher tax rate for all of us to pay for the resulting services and infrastructure required.

So, while we have no new roads and few improvements, we have no beautiful entrances or gateways, we are paying the same tax rate as everyone else in PWC. (A point of clarification: for the most part, our tax bills ARE lower, because our property value is less.)  Most of our schools are old and in need of modern renovations. I’m not even going to address our shopping and dining in Dale City in comparison with other communities.

Why, when I mention such deficiencies, do people attempt to refute statements such as the above?

I’m not saying we don’t have anything to brag about. We do! We have the best Farmer’s Market, we have Andrew Leitch and Waterworks, and we have the Hylton Boys and Girls Club. We have a diverse population and long established churches with a committed population.

Is that enough for you?

If you’d like to discuss this column or the state of our community. I invite you to attend the Neabsco Action Alliance meeting on Tuesday, September 10. We meet monthly, usually with a top notch speaker, who can answer our questions and help us determine a better future for our residents.

This month we’ll meet with Matthew F. Villareale, Assistant Public Works Director, Department of Public Works, Prince William County. Join us at 7 p.m. in the Occoquan Room at the McCoart Building at the County Complex.

Visit Neabsco Action Alliance on the web for more information. Here is a link to the magisterial district maps, with insets for the Congressional. House and Senate Districts. 

Opinion 

Do you work for the federal government? Are you in the military? Do you work for a contractor? You already know what sequestration is doing to your business, your livelihood, your retirement plans. Oh, but are you a hair stylist, a lawn maintenance worker or an auto dealer? Guess what? Sequestration is affecting you, too.

I attended a Town Hall recently, hosted by Delegate Rich Anderson of the Virginia 51^st District. He was accompanied by Bryce Reeves, Virginia State Senator from the 17^th District and Terrie Suit, the Virginia Secretary of Veterans Affairs and Homeland Security.  

All three serve on the Commission on Military Installations and Defense Activities, a Commission appointed by Governor McDonald, to protect the interests of 100,000 active duty military and over 800,000 veterans in the Commonwealth of Virginia The Commission also includes:

·         The Honorable Richard D. Brown of Henrico, Secretary of Finance
·         The Honorable Jim Cheng of McLean, Secretary of Commerce and Trade
·         The Honorable Marla Graff Decker of Henrico, Secretary of Public Safety
·         Lieutenant General (USAF-Ret) Al Edmonds of Alexandria
·         Lieutenant General (USMC-Ret) Emerson N. Gardner of Arlington
·         Admiral (USN-Ret) John C. Harvey, Jr. of Charlottesville
·         Lieutenant General (USA-Ret) John R. Wood of Alexandria

Opinion 

The focus of that commission and this Town Hall are active duty and retired, but these cuts affect everyone in the state of Virginia.

Noodling around Facebook is the equivalent of chatting around the water cooler. I read so many comments and opinions that fall into a few categories:
1. the sequestration cuts are the Republicans/Democrats/Congress/Senate/President’s fault.
2. The budget deficit is caused by President Bush or Clinton or Obama.
3. We spend too much on war or benefits or pensions.
4. We don’t have enough jobs, education is too expensive, and health care is killing us.
5. Over-regulation, lack of enforcement, a sense of entitlement, and a rift in the population in this         country.

Pick one or two of the above. Add your own reason. Hell, blame all of them! Better yet, blame none of them.

I’m resigned to the fact sequestration is turning my hair gray. Since my husband lost his job six months ago, it’s become one of the cuts I’ve made to our budget. I cannot afford the monthly expense of going to a salon to have my hair colored.  So the business that I frequented is losing the price of my ten visits a year. The stylist is losing her commission and the young woman who does shampoos is losing her tip.

We’ve nearly stopped completely going out to eat, only doing so when it’s part of an obligation. The restaurants, the servers, and the bartender feel the effects of sequestration.

It’s not so difficult for us to sacrifice those small pleasures. Bill retired from the Air Force as an E-6, so we never became accustomed to living “high on the hog”, although in the last 10 years, since we learned to live debt free, we did have some discretionary spending. We were able to afford a couple of vacations in that time. Now, we can’t.

That’s how sequestration impacts everyone, not just active duty or retirees, not just contractors or federal workers. We are all feeling the cuts.

We clamor and cajole to be heard, to share our opinions, and to convince others of our “rightness”. We are forever trying to get people to see OUR point of view.

I am no different. I plead guilty. I fully admit to using any means possible to wake up and connect the community where I live. I use blogs and Facebook as well as many other types of social media like Twitter and LinkedIn.

I interview community leaders in a video series, Nights at the Round Table. I leave my opinion on blogs and at the Washington Post, and numerous other on-line news sources. I send email, I write newsletters, I sit on committees and boards and councils, and I talk. I talk to anyone who will listen and try to explain my point of view, my concern, my caring for where I live. I talk to friends, strangers and politicians who are often some combination of those three preceding nouns.

I don’t just talk. I also try to lead by example. I am not ashamed or embarrassed to pick up trash from the gutter or edge an overgrown sidewalk. The people who leave that trash for some 60 year old woman to pick up should be ashamed, but for me, it’s a mission.

Sometimes, while I’m spending  hard hours in the heat, pushing and pulling an edger, creating a choking cloud of dust, straining my arthritic joints and praying that if I die on the spot, no one will say, “She died doing what she loved.”

I don’t love doing that. I don’t love picking up used condoms and tampons that people with no shame have discarded on the street instead of disposing properly. I don’t love painting over graffiti and I don’t love stepping in dog feces while mowing some god-forsaken piece of property that doesn’t belong to me. I don’t love the endless hours of my life I spend reporting dump heaps and illegal signs.

What I do love is my community. It’s worth fighting for and it’s worth working for.

I complain, but I try to fix what’s wrong. Not everyone likes that. Some people are afraid that acknowledging what is lacking is detrimental to our appearance. Many people seem to think it is not their business or it is not their responsibility. Some people think drawing attention to our shortcomings is a mistake. I think it’s a mistake to ignore those shortcomings. None of the problems will go away of their own accord. That’s why Neabsco Action Alliance was created.

Prince William County is a wonderful place to live. We are not perfect, nor will we ever be. I celebrate the good parts but I continue to look for solutions for the  parts that need improvement. That starts at the ground level with community maintenance and rises to policy decisions. I address as many issues as I can fit in a day and if I can’t fix it myself, I advocate issues to people who may be able to help.

Opinion 

This is the definition of  “hood”  from the Urban Dictionary, a great source for modern communication. 

1. The ghetto.

2. Someone who is from the ghetto.

3. Someone who acts like they are from the ghetto.

Other Slang: Hoodlum, gangsta, thug, pimp, street-rat, street urchin, etc.

There are actually a couple more definitions under the same entry, but since they are sexual in nature and have nothing to do with this text, I’m leaving them off. You can read them yourself if you’re interested.

A friend of mine started a Facebook conversation yesterday, asking if anyone else was offended by the term, “hoodbridge”. I immediately seized upon that query because I am offended when I hear that term. I was surprised to discover that no everyone feels the same. In fact, apparently there are at least 13,622 people not offended!

I had always assumed the word “hood” evolved from “hoodlums,” a term frequently used by my grandma to describe the boys I liked. Indeed, my grandma may have watched “The Hoodlum” in 1915 and carried that image with her.

The image must persist, because in 1997, Laurence Fishburne and Vanessa Williams made a movie by the same name. The description for their version of “Hoodlum” involves black gangsters in 1930 Harlem trying to horn in on Dutch Schultz numbers racket.

In fact, this morning, I looked up the term, “hoodlum” and find it has evolved from simply including motorcycle riders of the 60’s and guys my grandma didn’t like to this version, again from the Urban Dictionary. So, I’m still having a hard time understanding why people think it is all right to use the term, “hoodbridge”

I’m more willing than many to learn about new things. I love technology and I love people, so I find it troubling there is such a breach of understanding between me and at least 13,622 others.

Here’s the comment I added to the discussion: I guess it is a perception in the way we want to be known. Perhaps some people think it’s cool to denigrate our community. Maybe some people don’t see the harm. Surely, some people see it differently and yes, our community is changing.

The real problem is we are not communicating with each other. We have no opportunity to meet each other, whether young, old, white, black, Hispanic, rich, poor.

We need a community center that doesn’t cater to diversity, but allows us to meet on common ground. Holy Family has a festival  on Sept. 7, that embodies this, but we need a regular venue where older white people can listen to young black rap and then respectfully discuss what we like or don’t like or a place where the Hispanic community can tell us how they feel about life in Dale City and we can tell them the same.

Our values are different, our perceptions are different, but nearly every one of us has the same basic need. We want to live as well as we can afford. Our families are important and we want to be proud of where we live.

I’m working toward that as a goal. Everything I do, all the boards, committees and groups I work with are to help define a better future primarily for Dale City residents, but in general for anyone who is interested in the same thing.

Let me know what you think in the comments.